3 Im, PEEPS

3        Important people

My mother is the first person I can think of. She with her graceful shortness has helped through a lot of the obstacles that life had and will have for me. Standing at 5’2 she still packs a wallop! With her head full of her curls and sad large eyes; my mothers face always brought comfort as a boy in grade school.

My mother’s first instinct was the well known question “are you hungry?” until this day she still asks me even if I get home late; she would ask. She would spoil me with food! She would insist that I always over indulge.

So, my mother is one of the important people in my life. She helped get through the dark when I could hardly see; which puts everything in a nut shell. She instilled the word of love in me therefore are truly grateful.

My friend from grammar school till this has brought the artistic side of my logical brain. His name is Emmanuel, his non-chalant and peaceful behavior has influenced me to the bone. His peaceful behavior is ridiculously true; he gets frustrated but then totally forgets.

 We got in trouble as kids for graffiti and wheat pasting. We never showed any gang preference though. We always did it for the art. He opened my mind I can say. He made me more tolerant.

The music we listen to came from a vast majority of genres. From jazz, blues, underground hip-hop, rock, to simply instrumentals. If it wasn’t for his mental diversity I would have been a one tracked minded typical Mexican American.

Miguel, my uncle was the most recent person that was important in my life.

He passed away due to cancer. His understanding about the world was incredible. It was a shame that I got to really know him during his last two years of his life.

            He helped me with my relationships, how to be a true man. Which one of his roughly translated quotes was that still to this day; is in my mind “ a man is not measured by the amount of women he has been with but the amount of love he is willing to give that makes a true man” then with some comic relief “….and penis size of course”.

            In short, my uncle has played a major role in my life changing my views about it too. Though my views constantly evolve, his opinions and ideas impacted me the most in my life…he will always be remembered, and as long as this heart beats he will live on.

blog 9

Blog entery number 9

This is on of my favorite song/poem or lyrics; whatever you want to call it. Tell what you guys think of it.

HERE FOR YOU-BY OLIVER HART AKA MICHAEL LARSEN

Were all born into this river without knowing how to swim

And eventually we learn how to keep this water under our chin

Some times this river is so cold to be in

Freezing my soul, solidifying my skin

Regardless of how far I see, I never see my travels in

Were carried by the current, being driven by the wind

The scenery we pass, we'll never see again

So we store it up as memories and don't let go of them

Were under a spell thinking the river should go straight

He said, "(holds?) and desire to control our own fate"

But all the pain we experience as a result of our expectations

Because it's the rivers nature to twist and turn

The shit can burn

And I know it

I have the same conflict

But I try to sit and flow with this rivers natural process

And sometimes when I watch myself float downstream

I see the beauty of it all, and it feels like a dream

And at that time I appreciate the rivers course

Some part of God, reality, momentum, force

I stare up at the naked moon, and she stares down at me

(I'll cite false boundaries and all my powers to see)?

The universe is not something separate from yourself

I know you feel alone, but that's why I'm here to help

I know you feel alone, but just look up at the stars

And everything that is out there is what you really are

We gotta learn to see the beauty in each moment of life

Everyone has different pasts and we're seeking the light

The world is divided between peasants and kings

But the truth is everyone is looking for the same thing

Now I want you to know

The role you play is part of the whole

Without you it couldn't be, and I mean that with compassion

So if you need anything, I mean anything at all

I'm here for you; all you gotta do is ask man

I'm here for you, in the same way that you're here for me

Each person in an intricate piece of infinite

I feel that if you could see what I see

Then we as humanity could be free

I'm here for you, not for any self centered reasons

Because existence is interdependent and all related,

Connected in its different manifestations of one single mind

You ain't isolated from the world even though it feels like that sometimes

I see the hurt when I look into your eyes

How you struggle to hold it and keep in bundled inside

It drives a dull blade deep in my heart; it makes me want to cry

So I offer you a hand to help wash away the rainy skies

I'm running out of words, but I haven't yet made my message clear

So if none of this makes sense, I just want you to know I'm here

As a musician, as a friend, as a teacher, as a student

To grow and realize everything is in constant movement

Each problem that we face is just a part of this movement

It seems helpless, but if we stick together we'll get through it

And return to the essence from which we've been uprooted

And wake humanity from these illusions

The second you can look into the sky and see your own reflection

You know your head is in the right direction

The river riding always moves, but with it I live

And everything is perfect, just the way it is

We gotta learn to see the beauty in each moment of life

Everyone has different pasts and we're seeking the light

The world is divided between peasants and kings

But the truth is everyone is looking for the same thing

Now I want you to know

The role you play is part of the whole

Without you it couldn't be, and I mean that with compassion

So if you need anything, I mean anything at all

I'm here for you; all you gotta do is ask man

I'm here for you; all you gotta do is ask man

I'm here for you; all you gotta do is ask man

essay 3

                                                                                                            Edgar Gonzalez   

                                                                                                            Wed 6pm

                                                                                                           

                                 Michael Larsen (Nov, 9, 1981- Oct 16, 2010)

           

            Michael Larsen, Also known as Oliver hart and Eyedea is a very complex and intelligent poet.  His appearance is mostly a gloomy look with hair consuming half of his facial structure. His distinct style of poetry is what catches my attention. Michael Larsen died in his sleep, found by his mother and later more information was released regarding his death by the police, he overdosed on some sort of opiate due to lack of sleep.  As he said once “…see I don’t write for the future, I write about the future, for the present, i write with my past, about the future for the present. On this I stand...” or the other romance based quote “Miss the companionship I once took for granted, The way you helped me manage, the partnership that vanished, But I don’t expect you to stay chained by the ankle, There’s so much world to see so, fly free my angel I’m dying without you, but it’s teaching me to live Heaven isn’t something someone else can give It’s all inside of me”.  Michael Larsen’s rhymes were generally philosophically or thematically based and continue to influence artists and enthusiasts alike from his inception to the present. Overall, Michael Larsen’s delivery, content, intent/message of and compose his distinct type of music and poetry. (Album First Born (2001) (with DJ Abilities, as Eyedea & Abilities)

           

Michael’s delivery was well executed with a clear tone of voice and perfectly in sync with the music instrumentation.  His vocals were distinct with middle to a high pitched rasp. It is more like an acquired taste for most, but once you surpass the unusual voice, the benefits are outstanding.  As said by a blogger “Eyedea's delivery style was compelling enough to listen to over and over again. His passion itself--that was the "hook" to his poetry. When he rapped, it was the verbal equivalent of 20 massive fists punching holes in the concrete wall between the conscious and the unconscious.”(Blogger Will Conley)

           

When speaking of content, we talk about lyrics, composition, arrangement; instrumentation etc. How well is Michael’s piece of work constructed? His poetry revolves around vast emotions a human being is capable of releasing and or conjuring up. His poetry includes a considerable amount of metaphors.  His music wasn’t only hip-hop, it also consists of blues rock and jazz inspiration. Overall, Michael Larsen’s sharp-tongued lyricism is what helped him advance and achieve his goal as a musician. Recently Michael’s style focused on fusing together elements of rock and rap.  The sound evolved into something more layered and massive than anything in the realm of contemporary hip-hop. Never the less, Michael’s content impacted the hip-hop culture in many ways further expanding its horizons.

           

When we speak of his intent or message; what he is trying to pass to the listener  is quite clear.. As an avid listener towards his music as well as poetry;    he always tries to imply that we as human beings are not truly alone, that we can surpass the mental disease called depression.  In one of his quotes he states “I see the beauty of it all, and it feels like a dream and at that time I appreciate the rivers course some call it god, reality, momentum, the force; I stare up at the naked moon and she stares down at me outside false boundaries and (ill look outward to see?) The universe is not something separate from yourself I know you feel alone, but that’s why I am here to help, I know you feel alone, but just look up at the stars and everything that’s out there is what you really are”. Clearly, he speaks of moving on “following the rivers course” and repeats to the listener not to feel alone as well as to cope and stay strong. As a teen, going through depression; he alone made it so that depression itself never worsened or changed my state of mind when I this disease.  (Album The Many Faces Of Oliver Hart (2001))

            Michael Larsen’s delivery, content and intent/message, are factors that make him an interesting individual as well as poet/rapper/musician. He alone helps others to cope with their vast emotions that are encapsulated in the human brain. In short, Eyedea’s style was ahead of the so called hip-hop scene. Oliver Hart’s support and guidance of conquering depression was upfront and comforting; but the man that spawned these aliases was the ultimate provider of philosophical and ideological thoughts; his name was Michael Larsen. 

           

             

CITATION

Blog: Conley,Will (2010, October 19) “man of manywords” http://manofmanywords.blogspot.com/2010/10/what-eyedea-meant-to-me.html

Music Recording:

Larsen, Michael (2001). Album The Many Faces Of Oliver Hart (2001))

Larsen, Michael (2001).  Album First Born (2001) (with DJ Abilities, as Eyedea & Abilities

fam!!

Family

            My Family is an important factor in my life now. Sadly, it took me a bad experience to realize this simple fact. Family always comes first its part of our six societal institutions with the following of economics, education, religion, government and healthcare. Then why we ask? First because it’s first, second because it is emotionally intense, and third because it lasts a lifetime.  Family tends to always encourage an individual to do good hence, moral support. Without a family one may survive but will no fully reap the rewards/benefits and life learning lessons that one can acquire. Those family members that have committed mistakes in their lives can foretell or even help avoid mistakes they have made in their lives; of course depending on how open you are with the individual can be a factor that defines that exceptional help. Everybody ends up creating a family of their own if not humans; animal pets as well. People are not meant to be alone. In other words people with weak communication amongst their family can be just as bad as not having one. I can say that is true from experience. My family consist of a Mexican heritage yet its not fully enforced on us; we melted in the Chicano culture yet I as individual has been ridiculed as too white or white washed. In all family is the greatest asset that one can have, therefore cherish it because soon you will have one.           

hermit to human essay 1

Edgar Gonzalez

Professor Croker

English 101

September 16, 2012

                                                Hermit to Human

            As I awoke from my sweet slumber; my mother yelled from across the hallway with a continuously vivid tone of voice “despierta mijo,ala escuela”; time for school my son. Avoiding this inevitable day was completely impossible; not wanting to meet new people, not wanting to go to school was just simply terrifying to me.  The fact that I was leaving my sweet, serene, comfortable home was just horrific indeed.  Mother yelled with an assertive voice “mijo, la escuela!”(son!!!!,school!!). Knowing that her voice suddenly escalated rapidly made me realize that if I get her angrier; things would have just gotten worse for me.  So, as I walked passed the rooms mirror a glance of me resonated across the 8x7 mirror; a skinny boy with white butthuggers in other words white tiddy whitties was gloomily staring back at me. I was just not ready. 

            Then, the sudden smell of bacon hovered across the room and captured my sense of smell; it was a wonderful alluring smell.  My hunger that I hardly had suddenly had just been strengthen as well as my appetite for those enticing pieces of bacon. As, breakfast swiftly ended due to the eagerness my mother had for sending me to school; she had my clothing laid out for me. As soon as identified my clothes they were rapidly on me, my outfit consisted of a black polo shirt with navy blue shorts.  My hairstyle was the classic combed to the side haircut.  All of this was specially made for this event.  The worse part of that day was that the school itself was at a very, I mean very short walking distance; it was actually 150 steps.  That walk was so quick it had blown my mind; just the fact that it took less than five minutes scared the hell out of me.  Trying to procrastinate the walk did not seem to work either, it was impossible even if I did stray for a minute, for that school was the main destination.

            As I arrived to the front of the school, a group of kids were morbidly quiet. Nobody wanted to interact with each other; everybody was clinging to their mother’s and father’s legs, like monkeys on branches.  The bell rang loudly with a thunderous sound, a radiant blonde haired lady with mother figure expressions and postures came out walking gradually to gate opening it to allow everybody to come in.  She had assured the parents that the kids were going to have a great day; she introduced herself as Mrs. Vanbanikis or Mrs. V for short.  This was the first time I felt scared, noxious, frustrated and or indifferent about the whole school situation. A whirl wind of emotion had encapsulated within me, it was a new but not welcoming feeling.  Everybody started to pour in the class room in a single file line, for it had looked like sheep going to graze on the other side of the bridge let by our Shepard Mrs. V.  We all had name tags cubbies and what not.  The room had a distinct sense of smell; it had reeked of play dough, paints and chalk.       

            After the whole introduction of the “plan of the day”Mrs.V Had dismissed us to recess.  The time I was fearing came, it was a sublime moment. As I walked outside some kids were playing, some were standing, most were crying.  I did not know what to do, but suddenly a boy with a blue stripped shirt and black shorts began to cry the loudest from the pack of crying kids I began to ponder; “man this kid sure is loud.”  The boy was yelling for his mother, blowing tears just as if they were sprinklers watering the grass.  I walked up to him for some odd reason.  I wanted to comfort him. I did not know what to say.  So, I plainly said “hey what’s your name?” he replied with a raspy voice “Jose”; I followed up with “you want to play?”  He had totally forgotten about his mother and why he was crying.  He just began play in the jungle Jim. The game was called Spiderman; about 5 minutes in the game shooting our imaginary web shots, this girl joined in out of the blue she began making the non sense whizzing of our web slings.  She introduced herself as Yazmin.  It all became very clear to me, always try new things! The bell rang interrupting our wall crawling, everybody rushed back inside and began with the soon to be daily activity, everyone assimilated very well and quickly it was unbelievable.

            As the day ended, people either rushed to get their homework from the cubbies, or go to the restroom.  It seemed like everyone enjoyed the first day, but as Jose and I walked pass the restroom, the door was wide open and this kid was taking a wiz with his pants fully drawn to the floor. We were shocked to see someone so comfortably bared assed and peeing at school, the wave of laughter came crashing towards us.  We grabbed our backpacks and went our separate directions. I knew there and then that I made a best friend and many other friends; I got through the day and found out that change was not only a bad thing but a fun thing as well.

TEXT, TEXT, TEXT, WRITE…WAIT WRITE... RIGHT?

            TEXT, TEXT, TEXT, WRITE…WAIT WRITE... RIGHT?

Technology has advanced so far where we forgot our own simple pleasures in life.  For example going out for runs, listening to the ocean as the waves crash amongst the shimmering sand.  People nowadays rather text than talk over phone there goes to show how deep texting has affected our ordinary human being. Peoples writing skills are lowered due to texting and their shorten abbreviations were as to taking notes in school was the only acceptation for these so called abbreviations.  Texting has not conquered me, I use it but as a last resort where people are unreachable.

There is one verse from a poetic artist that comes to mind, whom im speaking of is ‘Sage Francis’.  His say about technology, well we can say texting in this case, is “the television went from being a baby sitter to a mistress.  Technology made it easy for us to stay in touch while keeping a distance, till’ we just stayed distant and never touched. Now all we do is text too much.”  This subject made me ponder and retrieved this verse from my depths of mind.  It was the only thing aside from my opinion that I can conjure up.  All I can say not to stop texting but try to stay away from texting too much. It really does affect peoples social skills to even driving (don’t text and drive).

reality novelas?.....oh reality shows.

REALITY SHOWS

            As a Mexican descendent, the females in my family were always amused by drama.  This so called drama for them was “novelas”, in other words Spanish soap operas.  These “novelas” which I detested with a passion always appeared around 8pm and ended at 10 pm.  Now a day, reality shows are very similar to those “novelas” full drama and scripted scenes. I personally do not watch reality shows due to the lack of realism, ironic right? For something called a “reality” show, do not get me wrong, I am not a lifeless person that does not enjoy simple pleasures in life but it at times when I happen to turn on the television and a reality show is rolling; is hilarious for its stupidity and unnecessary acts that grab the attention of the audience, therefore thinking people watch it for that same reason. In addition, to the lack of realism, it itself is just boring, like I said I had my share of drama as a boy growing with these so called “novelas” and now as a young adult have my fair share of drama mainly with the women in my life. Actual actions in this life are what interest me and spice up my way living, one saying I go by is “drama free is the way to be” and I as an individual could not agree any more.

            To think that a reality show is harming or benefiting our society is absurd but in influencing certain groups of them is another story. The “novelas”, a like reality shows, in my family harshly influenced the females by somehow making them think that in life everything must have a twist or turn it could never be certain which I agree ONLY in the “certain” aspect of it.  Nothing is really certain in life but as reality shows may have a similar affect to other families by subconsciously influencing them to think that acts and habits that they promote are ok for those “certain groups” to take and reform in there own moral beliefs may be the only problem. I say certain groups because, well lets just say that not the “whole” population is weak minded to be overtaken and altered by inappropriate showings. Avoiding these shows, having hobbies and education is the only way to keep ones mind out of the gutter. It will open as well as broaden horizons in ones mind by doing so.

            In conclusion, Reality shows can be nonsense to some, comedy to others and inappropriate showings for most.  It really just falls on the individual to pick and choose what they want to watch and what they want to take from it. We all grow, we all learn, we all explore, we all experience, all those factors are what really make the individual. So, by thinking that reality shows may harm or benefit society is absurd but by influence, it may be one factor to worry about.  Yet, stressing the only fact that has done any good for me is the quote “drama free it the way to be”.    

FAST FOOD

                                                                                               

            Eating fast food as child at first was a family get together type of deal, it always was a thing we did after going to church.  We would always go to McDonalds and purchase those horrific yet satisfying at the same time we called fries with either a big Mac or chicken McNuggets. At that time fast food seemed to be the best fulfilling food I had ever tasted in my whole child hood life, don’t get me wrong my mother would  always cook great healthy home cooked meals but the siblings and I at the time would rather had preferred to eat out. Thankfully Eating out was not an everyday thing we did; it was family time at the end of the week but as a catholic raised family it later became more of a catalyst for us children to attend church.  The fast food started affect everybody as time gradually went by.  Unfortunately bad eating habits also affected my eldest brother and mother by getting diabetes, It then started to effect me as well, I was lucky because I only gained weight, yes I can say I was husky because of eating out but very fortunate I did not receive that  same deficiency.  I can honestly say that my childhood solely revolved around fast-food, due to the fact that it was also a way we were rewarded, mainly for good behavior or good grades that we would receive as kids.

            Now as a young adult, my eating habits have totally taken an opposite course not as result of my weight gain but as a result of recent surgery, well not that recent; 4 years to be exact. It changed my view on diet, exercise and fast food. It’s sad that it took a scare for me to change my ways but things happen for a reason, now my diet consists of vitamins and cooked meals, regular exercise and way less fast-food. My meals can range from a dish that may contain fish, chicken with brown rice and/or vegetables. For some reason I believe that self made meals are the best if you may concur? But Today, McDonalds makes me cringe at this point in my life. I could hardly eat their chicken sandwiches, but I take as a blessing in disguise and as away of keeping myself healthy. But do I really rely on it not as of now? No, but I can understand people that do not have the time to make themselves the proper meals that are sufficient for ones body. I have read in articles that low income people eat more carbohydrates than any other resources that the body needs. Personally, it really does take money for a person to eat properly which is the depressing part but in other hand is investing in yourself bad? Giving yourself a healthier future wrong? Passing down great eating habits to your future kids wrong?  These are questions I asked myself that helped me with changing and understanding my eating habits and fast-food itself.

PAST,PRESENT AND FUTURE

This may sound cliché’ but being raised by women has given me morals that I adopted and found to be useful and admirable. The past has been filled with memorable experiences as well as teachings that I took from it. Hindsight itself still keeps on beating over the head but I still keep on trucking.  Elementary and junior high were interesting segments of my life. Enjoying my childhood was an objective that was a “must”. My childhood consisted of 3 main elements sugar rushes, outside play and trouble which I did not regret at all.  Then high school began, it was one main change that I had to adjust, just the thought of it was mind boggling; a changing body, abounding responsibilities and girls.  Like everyone else I just dealt with it, of course with the support of my family and friends.  Time travel is one thought I bet that crosses everyone’s mind at some point, it can be a useful tool if it existed, but where would we be as a person if situations were alternated, then we would not be who we are now.

            As we speak, my life is on a balanced plain; my thoughts are collected and my physical well being continues to improve.  I love the people in my life and especially the people that are not present because of their passing down of ideas and beliefs which in the whole scheme of things make me who I am as a person.  Working, going to school, keeping an open mind and loving the people in my life are top priorities. Everybody works; my work days start at 6am and end until 330. I’m lucky to have a Monday through Friday job, currently though I am trying to up my job from building maintenance to the pest control business.  My educational displine for now is EMS and would like to get in business/art later. Art and its many forms interests me, as for music I really don’t mind it at all; I look at it as an escape from myself and others.

            Many years from now, I see myself happy with my own family, my old friends and especially my parents supporting decisions that I will be making and have made then.

The future can be nerve racking at times but knowing that we have the capability of conjuring up solutions when problems are afoot is a relieving thought.  Having the option to better or worsen a situation is really what we have in a retrospective way. In other words my outlook on life is mostly a “have full cup” type of attitude that I posses.  Moreover the future can and will be full surprises, heartaches and setbacks which I will face head on full heartedly.